12 versions of schadenfreude
Bardenfreude
Correctly quoting an oft-misquoted line of Shakespeare (‘all that glisters’, ‘dreams are made on’), then watching someone’s discomfort when, having challenged you over its accuracy, they actually look it up.
Cardenfreude
Exulting in a player from the football team you don’t support being mistakenly cautioned or sent off.
Embargenfreude
Hand-rubbing glee at the royalties lost by a musical act you deeply dislike after their new album is leaked on to the internet.
Gardenfreude
‘Accidentally’ allowing pernicious weeds to self-seed themselves into your neighbour’s just-too-perfect plot.
Hardenfreude
Noting with approval that the concrete laid down by gratingly loud, cheerful or chauvinist roadworkers has been ruined by a dog and subsequently set.
Haydenfreude
The satisfaction of seeing a character played by an irritating actor suffer mutilation, torture or death.
Lardenfreude
Becoming slimmer than someone who has always been slimmer than you.
Pardonfreude
Passive-aggressively facing down somebody who invariably asks you to repeat things, even though they’ve heard you perfectly well, by remaining silent until they cave in and reply.
Schadenboyde
Discreetly savouring someone else’s irksome child getting told off for something they haven’t actually done.
Schadendroide
Wanting a piece of technology to ‘suffer’ (through a flat battery, scratched case etc) because it has annoyed you, whether by malfunction or merely design.
Yardenfreude
Inward satisfaction when someone officially obliged to do otherwise (teacher, shopkeeper etc) unconsciously lapses back into using Imperial measurements.
Comments (4)
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I’ve just noticed there are only 11 here, so let me add ‘ahadenfreude’ – the joyful moment of realising you have a chance to point out somebody else’s mistake on the internet.
I’d like to add Tardenfreude – commenting on a web post many months after the shutters have gone down and the crowds have gone away and feeling as if you just finished someone else’s crossword or them (for which, see CluedenFreude.)
It’s never too late to comment on one of my posts. The party just never stops at ABC Copywriting.
In that case, late to the party:
‘The pleasure derived from mercilessly crushing 70’s snooker opponents, despite looking like a comedy Count Dracula’ – Reardonfreude.
Slightly disappointed ‘ahadenfreude’ didn’t incorporate Alan Partridge, although s’pose that would’ve too obvious.
Very entertaining post, cheers sir.